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Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Faery, part I (epic fantasy novel excerpt)



On a Sunday stroll through the park, an exuberant young lass finds herself drawn into the Land of the Fairies.
In this world of magic, Macy is swept up in an epic quest that will determine the fates of the fairy world as well as her own.
On this journey, she and her friends will have to pass numerous tests and discover as well as surpass their own limits in order to literally save the day.





PART I: THE FAIRIES’ CAVE
“A book is a mirror. When a monkey looks in, no apostle can look out.”
Georg Lichtenberg


I
There was a hint of magic in the air that morning.
The little girl hopped from stone to stone along the path by her father’s side. Macy so loved those Sunday walks whenever the weather was nice. And it was nice. Nice and sunny and warm.
In the park, couples snuggled close together on the benches and boys ran across the banks of the pond after each other or their miniature boats. A band of musicians was playing lively folk tunes by a busy bagel stand and men tossed out their fishing lines. They were all so cheerful and loud.
“Extra, extra! Get your news while it’s still fresh!” A vendor close by yelled so loud and suddenly it made the poor girl start for a moment. Daddy handed him a few coins and eagerly leafed through the paper, before rolling it up.
Every now and then, Macy stopped to add a new addition to the lush bunch of wild flowers in her hand. They would look great on the kitchen table. The girl chuckled and arranged the lavish bouquet. Mother would be pleased. She hopscotched and skipped along, humming a song her mother loved and flapped her arms vigorously to keep her balance on a wobbly brick. Then something swift caught her eye.
It quickly moved from left to right and back in front of her, made a full spin and dashed into the shrubs. Another bright feathery creature lunged from the green at high speed. Was it a little bird? It was so small and so quick she had trouble keeping track of it.
Where did it go? Straining her eyes to the fullest, she spied for any sign of movement. There was another... And another!
“Daddy, daddy, look, daddy!” She jerked his hand and pointed at them, but he was too busy conversing with a friend over a cigarette to respond to her relentless plea.
“Not now, honey.” He whispered in between sentences. “Daddy’s busy.”
After a pout, she was again engrossed in watching the strange creatures with big, curious eyes. One by one, they retreated into the wall of plants and disappeared. Were they leaving? Gently, she removed her slender hand from her father’s grasp and drew nearer to the captivating beings. The last of them circled her head a single time then rushed off into the bush. Impulsive as she was, she plunged after it, headfirst into the green, leaving her pretty waistcoat torn in the hedge.
And so the legend unfolds.



Meta-info:
Those of you that have visited this blog before may know a short story named ‘Macy and the fairies’. I’m proud to say it is the most popular of my blog posts and has been for some time.

I'm posting the first 10 pages of the novel version because those are the first – and possibly only – part of it an agent is going to see (hopefully in the near future). Any feedback that can help improve it is very much appreciated.

Going on version 354, I don’t really see the actual text for what it is anymore, with all the rereading and revision, so you, my dear reader with a fresh look *bats eyes*, would be a real asset in getting this novel to work...
Please try to be as critical as possible; I know what is good about it, tell me what sucks.

Thanks!

Yours truly,

Stories Inc.

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